How?
But now? When I'm like this? How am I supposed to handle this?
I need to learn to listen to my own advice.
Dammit.
I'm working on it, sorry.
Sorry It's taking so long.
Story of my life
Some Backstory first:
It's important to know that I didn't have many friends growing up. It was easy in kindergarten, people are just kind of friends with everyone back then, first grade was pretty cool too... but when second grade started things went downhill.
Quite early I got picked out as the kid to bully, for no real reason. These things happen, and it sucks, but it's in the past.
But because of this my small pool of friends only grew smaller. I hated school and never wanted to go, came up with excuses or tried to convince my parents I was sick and etc. Eventually I found out computer games were a thing and that's where I escaped, essentially blocking out even the few friends who tried to hang out with me without knowing it myself.
This continued until around fifth-sixth grade. I joined a choir with a bunch of awesome people and learned not everyone sucks, and I also got myself sort of a ''I don't give a shit what other people think'' type personality, a defense mechanism, essentially.
But growing up like that still left scars, and more than anything it left me feeling like I wasn't worth a lot, like I wasn't worthy of being liked. I of course had a loving family, but both my parents were burned out in my younger years and I don't remember that much from them. I hold no grudges against them for this though, they had no control over this, and they've always loved me and I am grateful for all they have done.
But let's begin... shall we?
This is a story all about how a young little boy got messed up inside.
En sak till bara:
Passiv-Agressivt.
Fucking.
Night.
Life.